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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062210">Indecipherable American</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonbinaryNerdbot/pseuds/NonbinaryNerdbot'>NonbinaryNerdbot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: The Original Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Midwestern slang, Uhura being a smart alek, have we all forgotten that?, midwestern!kirk, no beta we die like red shirts, seriously where's my midwesterner kirk, southern bones, the boy is from iowa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:34:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>568</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonbinaryNerdbot/pseuds/NonbinaryNerdbot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm honestly disappointed in the lack of Midwestern!Kirk and I'm on a one man mission to rectify the situation.<br/>Have some ridiculous levels of Midwestern and Southern slang crammed into this little thing. Could be read as McKirk if you'd like, but it doesn't have to be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Indecipherable American</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ope!”</p>
<p>“Oh stars, I’m so sorry Captain!”</p>
<p>“Oh, no, you’re fine, Ensign, it happens.” James T. Kirk gave his winning golden boy smile, handing the dropped PADD to the young science officer. The ensign scurried off and Kirk turned back to McCoy, “So, yeah, no, I told Ma that we’d try to comm her later, since it’s Peter’s birthday.”</p>
<p>“Sounds swell, Jim,” Bones replied, the two walking into the turbolift. “It’s been too long since I talked to her. And poor Peter, bless his heart, he musta had a hell of a time gettin on up there.” The two walked onto the bridge, “And how’s he doin, anyhow? I know your Ma’s a real swell gal, but it cain’t be easy for him t’ up and move halfway ‘cross the galaxy like that, ‘specially since he ain’t never met your mama before.”</p>
<p>Jim nodded, “Uhura, I’ma squeeze right past ya. Yeah, no, yeah Ma said he had a bit of rough weather for awhile, but now that he’s settled in he’s taken to the farm like a pig to mud. Ma says she’s havin’ t’ chase him in for dinner nowadays otherwise he’d just live on sunshine and acorns.”</p>
<p>Bones laughed, “Sounds like what she’s always sayin’ you were like. He may only be your nephew, but he sure does take after you strongly. Next thing you know, we’ll be planetside and it’ll be all campfires, corn from a jar, and crickets in the moonlight, huh?”</p>
<p>“Awe man, I hope so,” Jim moaned, tipping his head back, “But don’t go talkin’ ‘bout Peter like that, I can’t bear to think of that lil boy so grown up already. He’s just barely started learnin to work a tractor, he can’t get that old that quick.”</p>
<p>“It’ll be here before you know it, Jim. You’ll turn around and he’ll be as big as you are.”</p>
<p>“In a pig’s eye, Bones. Sam was half a foot shorter than me -”</p>
<p>“Your mama told me it was just a couple a inches, ya two faced fox, and I’ll make sure she hears about your stretchin of the truth.”</p>
<p>“Awe, Bones, don’t go doin that, you know she’ll never let me hear the end of it!”</p>
<p>“Alright you two!” Uhura suddenly cut in. The two men jumped and turned to her, eyes wide, “I can tell the two of you have called home lately, but for stars sake, reorient so the rest of us can at least <em>pretend</em> to understand what it is you’re saying.” The two blushed, and cleared their throats. </p>
<p>“Sorry, Ms. Uhura,” Jim said, “Guess we just go carried away.”</p>
<p>“Oh lord, Jim, get that ‘awe shucks’ smile off your face.” He turned to Uhura, “And I’d have thought you’d find it interesting to listen to such a distinct dialect, lieutenant, you being a linguistics buff and all.”</p>
<p>Uhura rolled her eyes, “Doctor, next time I need to brush up on my ‘indecipherable American’ accents, I’ll just call you or the captain over to help me with it. Sound fair?”</p>
<p>The three just laughed at each other, barely noticing the vague looks of awe and fear from the rest of the bridge crew.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter how often it happened, seeing the inner hick come out of the commanding officers would always unsettle the rest of the crew. And to think it was only two years into the five year voyage...</p>
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